The pastor called a young woman to the platform. “Many of you know Laura,” he said. “She’s been a leader in our college ministry, and today, we’re commissioning her to serve among women in the slums of Kolkata.” The pastor asked Laura about this mission work in India, and then before he prayed over her,  he looked at the other college students sitting nearby and said,

After college, most young adults find a job in their field so they can start making money. Many of you should focus less on your career and seriously look for a spouse. But Laura is delaying those good goals for the next two years so she can serve God’s kingdom across the world. I wonder if God’s Spirit might be stirring up some of you to do the same?

When I heard those lines, I sat up in the pew, smiled, and thought, Here’s a pastor who understands the times.

As evangelicals, we want to be like the men of Issachar, “men who had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do” (1 Chron. 12:32). Our pulpits boldly warn against our culture’s LGBT+ ideology that stands contrary to the Bible’s vision of sex and gender. A pastor reads about the coming fertility crisis in his news feed, and he’s emboldened. During his next premarital counseling session, he’ll be sure to teach the young couple that God didn’t design marriage only for mutual support but also for procreation (Gen. 1:28; Ps. 127:3–5).

Church leaders also speak to their people about sexual ethics with nuance and gentleness. We put our anxiety about replacement fertility rates aside and simply grieve with a couple who has experienced a miscarriage. And when a young woman like Laura responds to God’s missionary call, we don’t agonize over the fact that she’s delaying marriage; instead, we’re joyful, recognizing, as David VanDrunen writes, that her “serving Christ now with undivided devotion as an unmarried citizen of heaven foreshadows the age to come (1 Cor. 7:32–35).”

Does this nuance arise merely from pastoral sensitivity? Not exclusively. Just as with our boldness, our gentleness and joy also come from “understanding the times.”

In his recent article for TGC, VanDrunen argues that our Christian sexual ethic must be understood in light of the overlap of the ages. When shepherding God’s people through issues of sex, marriage, and family, we need a threefold framework that considers creation’s design (natural law), the ethical instructions articulated in the Mosaic covenant (God’s moral law), and the inbreaking of the new creation, the coming age when we won’t “marry nor [be] given in marriage” (Luke 20:34–35).

With this biblical paradigm, we can boldly declare, “Let marriage be held in honor among all” (Heb. 13:4), and at the same time, we can confidently support a single missionary who deprioritizes starting a natural family (Matt. 10:34–37; Luke 14:26) for the sake of the kingdom. We practice pastoral flexibility because we understand the times and know what God’s people ought to do.