Four years ago, when my oldest son was in 8th grade, we got him a phone. He didn’t really need it, but nearly all his school friends had one, and we loved that he could chat with them outside of school hours.

Looking back, I would have made a different choice. And this year, when my youngest son was in 8th grade, my husband and I did not get him a phone. Notably, most of the kids in his class didn’t have phones either (and those who did were tightly restricted). When I talk to those parents, they—like my husband and I—are much more cautious than we were before.

Should we wait until he’s in high school? Until he’s 16 and driving on his own? Until he’s in college?

I’m not sure, but I know we want to go slower and use more wisdom than we did before. That’s why I’m so grateful for this advice from Daniel Stegeman, which gives us a great way to start the conversation.